A kitten

Cats are very patient when it comes to hunting, very curious, very stubborn.

It was the 16th of May 2025, this is four days before writing this piece, a cat we call Mariam came to our place with her two kittens following her. I think she told her babies that we’re a safe place, and we’ll take care of them. They got used to us in no time, and I was welcoming of course, how can I refuse this cuteness!

We’re living in the living room, it had a curtain as a door that has two layers, one of them is made of chiffon. The mother knows how to go around both layers, it’s her house you know! Her kittens don’t though. One of them was like a second tail to her mother, so she could get through these layers, as her mother made the way easier. The other one was more independent, so she was caught in between both layers, she could see her mother and sister going inside, it’s completely see-through, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t reach, she couldn’t be with them. I watched her struggle for a few minutes, then I showed her the way. And that made me think about people in general, some people are born with an easy route, others just struggle to get the same result. And it made me smile, because both types reached their goal, at different times, but still the goal was attained. If I let that kitten struggle more, I’m sure she would have found her way on her own, I just helped making the process a bit easier.

The 18th of May 2025 at 7 something PM, we had the first evacuation call for our block, we couldn’t really determine if it’s really our block, because we didn’t have a stable connection. My sisters called urging us to leave, and that we’re on the line between the safe zone and the red one. We hesitated, and decided to stay since we’re closer to safety than danger. We assured her, and stayed the night. Strangely, the night was calm, bombardments were far and less than the previous ones. I got alarmed, is it the calm before the storm, I was wondering, drones were missing in the sky too. That silence was ugly, the kind that turns your stomach... Next morning we had another evacuation call, this time we were in the reddest red a red can red! We’re tired of moving, haven’t had a proper meal in months, with an empty stomach we had to walk. From Al Qarara to Deir Al Balah, carrying luggage? Not a chance, we’re staying! After your 8th time of displacement, I’m sure you would hesitate to even blink. But then comes that survival instinct, you need to live, Mona! Get us out, Mona! I’m tired, my body is so heavy, I could feel numbness all over. How can a body as fragile as mine handle all of that?! Death is easier, it’s better. But what if we don’t die? We will suffer, no water here, no one will hear us if we screamed, no one will help us. I couldn’t decide, I couldn’t think anymore, I wanted someone else to decide for me. My brother Mahmoud too couldn’t decide, non of us could! I laid my head back, closed my eyes, and tried to calm myself down. My mixed emotions got the best of me, my thoughts were running a marathon in my head, picturing every possibility, calculating every chance, still haven’t decided. We all needed to approve, we all needed to think.... I found my mother laying in one of my aunt’s rooms, and she said that she feels at ease, and she wants to stay. I didn’t know what to say, I just smiled. We got back to our place, when we heard a bomb hit so close, Mahmoud got out to see where it was, when I heard bullets hit the walls, QUADCOPTERS! One of the bullets passed inches away from Mahmoud’s head! That was the moment when we all decided it’s time to leave, at the same time. Our things were already packed, the struggle is to carry them all. Our cousin had his things ready, and carried to a semi carriage, it needed to be pushed all the way to the sea, where we will be separated. And he had A LOT! Adding our stuff, you can imagine how hard it would be. We said goodbye to my cousin and her husband who have decided to stay there, despite our pleas for them to come with us. I told her, they’re not joking, but she said “I can’t leave him behind, he doesn’t want to leave.”

My cousin, his 3 sons, the oldest is 15, and my brother started pushing. We got out holding our breaths, it’s dangerous! What if they thought we’re wanted, what if they bombed us right there! The sun was burning the air, we all are scared, we all are tired. But we kept walking, and they kept pushing, taking brief breaks on the way. I asked if we’re in the safe zone yet, and they answered “yes”, when a bomb hit nearby! That doesn’t look anything like safe I said. Still holding my breath, we crossed Kissufeem street, the one that they intend to cross and take over. I took a look behind me, and there I’ve seen a cloud of sand, it’s like thousands of elephants were running towards us! These were their tanks that targeted the area nonstop a few days ago. Moving fast in the horizon, ready at any moment to take lives. I got more scared, I had to see them once again, not a sight to see, totally not recommended.

We kept walking, pausing for a few minutes and walking again, the sea was within sight, we’re almost there. We reached our crossroads, took our things and waited sitting for any kind of transportation. People were evacuating, I could see how Lifeless their expressions were, how tired their hearts are, how desperate for a relief, for a life. Once again, everything looks grey....

We sighed when we found a carriage, my mother shouted “Take us with you, my feet hurt, son!” The boy couldn’t refuse, and I believe he wasn’t even heading to the same place as us, but for the sake of my mother he stopped. We had a lot of things, with no room left for us to sit, I told my mother that she should sit and we would walk. They tried to get some room for us, and we all could fit. The ride was long, and I was dizzy, yet we were joking about how we looked, at least we could laugh about it.

We reached my aunt’s house in Deir Al Balah, she greeted us, and we finally could rest. The moment I laied my head on the pillow, I felt my brain gradually fall into darkness, as if something is pulling my head down, it was strange but I gave in to it. Darkness consumed my thoughts, I found myself asleep....

Just like that independent kitten, my route is hard, my life has never been easy, I needed to figure things out on my own. A cat can be so stubborn when it has a goal set in mind, it doesn’t budge until it gets it. Their surviving instincts are always alert, are always heightened. Many has told me that I look like a cat, and I couldn’t be more happier!

My name is Mona Ramadan, and I’m alive yet my goal is to live….