Light upon Light

Dreams sometimes make sense, other times they completely sound out of this world!

The word “dream” in Arabic has 2 different meanings. It depends on the dreamer and the type of dreams. I’ll explain them shortly, so here’s your Arabic words of the day. (I miss this!)

The first word is حُلم. It’s pronounced as “Hulm”, and it means regular dreams. You could dream about flying on a pizza plate, waking up with a headache because of the pressure up there. So, they might not mean something. The word “Hulm” can be used to describe aspirations, its plural is “Ahlam” and it could be used as a female name.

The second word is رؤيا. It’s pronounced as “Ru’ya”. And please don’t confuse it with رؤية it has the same pronunciation, and the latter means vision. Let’s get back to the رؤيا. It comes from the root “أرى” meaning “I see”. Ru’ya means dream yes, but here it’s a dream that means something, that has a message with it. It also depends on the dreamer, wither they were spiritual, wither they have good hearts. In Islam it’s linked to prophets who are the highest form of belief, it’s like being talked to by and angel while they’re sleeping. It’s said that other people can have that Ru’ya, and they are considered as special people, who have a high level of honesty, that Allah loves and graces them with this ability of ‘seeing’.

For a dream to be considered as Ru’ya, it’s said that it should be remembered, you can sense it’s different from other dreams, you can feel it has a message behind it, and it should be repeated more than once. That’s what happened with Prophet Ibrahim, when he had seen himself killing his son Ismail three times in a row. He got puzzled, and shared his dream with his son who said “Do as you are commanded” because he knows that a vision of a prophet is not just a symbolic dream, it’s a divine revelation. Ismail literally accepted being killed at the hands of his own father! He submitted to that command fully trusting, and believing in Allah. And that’s what they did…. Ibrahim was about to slaughter his son when Allah sent a huge male sheep, instead of Ismail. That’s the story behind Eid Al Adha in Islam, it’s about the sacrifice that they were willing to do for the sake of Allah. The actual sacrifice was not required, (killing his son) it was a test of faith, intention, and obedience. What strong belief is that? It was a very hard test, even the words “very hard” don’t give it justice.

Now that you understand the difference between the two words, I’m going to reflect on that. As always….

I kept getting dreams, since the beginning of this war, most of them meant something, most of them came true. I keep getting that déjà vu. I wrote about seeing the sea dark, I’ve seen it angry, ready to flood over destroying everything on its way. That was 10 days before the war! I recently came to know that most of my family members had similar dreams of the dark sea! The strange thing was when some of my friends said the same thing. “Something was wrong with the sea!” We all were alerted I guess….

Dreams kept coming, most of them were warning, others were full of hope and positivity. One dream was repeated, and every time I remember it, but forget the words, the most important ones. I was in a room dimly lit, four books of the Qur’an were spread in front of me opened at the same page and I read the verses. I wake up and forget them. I shared that dream with my sister and she couldn’t believe that I didn’t consider it as a sign. Well, three times is something, and it sure should mean something since it’s our holy book. But I’m no saint, and not very religious to have Ru’ya, I’m a believer of course but why would I have that special vision? So, I brushed it off, even though it was puzzling.

Dreams of reciting verses of the Qur’an repeated, now it’s vocal. There’s something that I needed to understand and I keep forgetting. When in danger, I get those verses of protection. I think my brain was designed that way; I was raised with these surahs. Surat Al Falaq, Surat Al Naas, Surat Al Ikhlas. So, I recite them automatically when I feel in danger. But there’s that one dream I recently had , that is different, I chose a different verse from a different Surah.

I was in the middle of darkness, the city needed protection, and the only way was to get help from some where out of our human reach. I joined, but I sensed something was wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be that thing. I lost all control over the situation, so I let it go and left running, passing by what it looks like a graveyard. It was so dark I barely could see, and I know that I’m followed. I had nothing to do other than reciting one verse of Surat Al Noor. I loudly, desperately said:

الله نور السماوات والأرض"

مثل نوره كمشكاة فيها مصباح

المصباح في زجاجة الزجاجة كأنها كوكب دريٌ يوقد من شجرة مباركة

زيتونة لا شرقية ولا غربية

يكاد زيتها يضيء ولو لم تمسسه نار

نور على نور يهدي الله لنوره من يشاء....”

Translation: “Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth. The Parable of His light is as if there were a Niche and within it a Lamp: The Lamp enclosed in Glass as if it were a brilliant star: Lit from a blessed Tree, an Olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well-nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it: Light upon Light! Allah doth guide whom He will to his Light.”

I’m struggling to determine wither it’s a vision or not, wither it’s a Ru’ya or not. But I can remember its details, I remember the darkness that surrounded me, the pleas from the bottom of my heart for a light to see. I remember my voice trembling with each word, I remember feeling at ease afterwards. As if there was a hand pointing towards an exit, till I stumbled to my mother and told her all about it. I took her hand as I can still feel that aura following me, that danger is still there and I need to keep running, that I need to stay away. With her hand in mine, we could reach a place that has light. And I still could feel that energy I kept running from, I found him standing in front of me smiling. And I couldn’t see any more malicious smile like that in my whole life. I knew I couldn’t trust him, even though he kept repeating that he’s a good person and I should trust him. I refused and took my mother and kept running. Then I woke up.

I still have goosebumps remembering that Surah, and the way I was calling for the light of Allah. My heart was calling for a relief, I was stuck in so much darkness, with no way out, and the only thing I could think of, and only could trust getting me out was Allah.

My body and my brain are reacting to this madness, I’m calling for mercy and light even when I’m sleeping. That darkness, that aura was much bigger than me, I couldn’t make it stop just like I’m unable to make this madness stop. That man in my dream resembles this war, I can’t keep him away, he’s everywhere.

This darkness never occurred, and I never thought it would ever reach that level! It doesn’t stop at repeated dehumanization; it has exceeded every level of cruelty. Endless darkness that it requires a miracle to stop….

There’s no way out unless it’s your way ya Allah.

There’s no way out unless it’s with your guidance ya Allah….